Go Ahead, Let Your Kids Fail
and an interesting quote from a book mentioned in the article: “First of all, as I see it, no one has any ability whatsoever to figure out what is going to be important to people….” http://www.bloombergview.com/articles/2014-02-20/go-ahead-let-your-kids-fail
Category Archives: Sudbury Schools and Sudbury Valley School
Go Ahead, Let Your Kids Fail
His vexed look was saying, “How dare she question the depths of my knowledge. She doesn’t know me.”
– SVS student, age 5
This is such a great blog post. I just re-read it today. This pretty much sums up why we wanted our kids to go to SVS as little kids. (Our 9-year-old is in his 6th year already… he started when he was 4.) Some people might think that SVS is more useful as kids get older. But I think that is quite mistaken and this blog post captures this very well.
New research from Germany finds people who recall having plenty of free time during childhood enjoy high levels of social success as adults.
Free time as kids was also linked with high self-esteem and the flexibility to adjust one’s goals.
The original research article (abstract and free PDF download of article):
When Adults Take Over Children’s Fun
“Schoolification” of Sports (from the unschool subreddit)
Interview with Hanna Rosin (news report video)
“The Overprotected Kid.”
A Useful Reminder: Louis C.K. Was Bad Before He Was Good
“I could see that the experience of meeting her was confusing to many of them. They were at the conference in support of learning through play, but here was a young woman who really had learned through play—through true, self-directed play, without coercion—and they found it hard to believe. I wish Nina had been invited as one of the principal speakers.”
The (Mandatory) Science Fair….
“Parent1: You mean I get an A on his science project?”
How to find the perfect job… from Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs) http://www.lifebuzz.com/mike-rowe/
I think the problem I have with playgrounds, especially #6 below (with the huge blue blocks) is that even the good ones (and these are rare!) are contrived and are not going to hold interest for long — like a museum. I guess I would have to see if any had much staying power vs the more real / organic / wild / natural versions of (#1) adventure playground and (#2) the campus of Sudbury Valley School (SVS) but I would guess not.
And not only because the blue blocks are less useful than real tools or artifacts the kids create from actual found objects (as at SVS), but also importantly, because (especially at Sudbury Valley School) the kids are in charge of their own time COMPLETELY. It isn’t just a 1/2 hour recess… it is their whole day that they are free to do as they wish — playing (or working… call it as you wish) outdoors or indoors.
And also importantly, at Sudbury Valley School (and other Sudbury Schools) it is within a context of a self-governed community — real direct democracy as embodied in the SVS Lawbook and executed by the Judicial Committee, the School Meeting, and the various elected clerkships and committees. Real consent of the governed is powerful.
Whereas, at a “playground” at some arbitrary short point, the whistle will blow, or the parents will say “times up” after an hour or 2.
Also, outside of school hours… playgrounds are typically hit or miss. Unless in a safe, dense area…. it is going to mean kids need to get their via parents/cars. Vs at SVS, there is a rich environment of “everyone is here” available. Cohousing neighborhoods offer that possibility as well, as long as people aren’t doing too much in the way of scheduled, adult run outside activities, pulling them away from the neighborhood.
1) Adventure Playgrounds
(as noted here: http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/03/hey-parents-leave-those-kids-alone/358631/)
2) Sudbury Valley School
(as noted here with links to fort building and other outdoor play: http://ehaugsjaa.wordpress.com/2013/11/30/outdoors-at-school/)
3) Power tools for kids
4) Wilderness programs for kids
5) Fat Albert — cartoon at the junkyard
6) Imagination Playgrouds (sterile version of Adventure Playgrounds)
company that makes big blue blocks: http://www.imaginationplayground.com/
7) How Little League sports used to be (no parents… just kids)
Excerpt from Peter Gray
How to get a job at Google
0. coding ability (for tech positions)
1. general cognitive ability, and it’s not I.Q. It’s learning ability. It’s the ability to process on the fly.
2. leadership ability
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — LAST June, in an interview with Adam Bryant of The Times, Laszlo Bock, the senior vice president of people operations for Google — i.e., the guy in charge of hiring for one of the world’s most successful companies — noted that Google had determined that “G.P.A.’s are worthless as a criteria for hiring, and test scores are worthless. … We found that they don’t predict anything.” He also noted that the “proportion of people without any college education at Google has increased over time” — now as high as 14 percent on some teams. At a time when many people are asking, “How’s my kid gonna get a job?” I thought it would be useful to visit Google and hear how Bock would answer.
“What if surgeons never got to work on humans, they were instead just endlessly in training, cutting up cadavers? What if the same went for all adults — we only got to practice at simulated versions of our jobs? Lawyers only got to argue mock cases, for years and years. Plumbers only got to fix fake leaks in classrooms. Teachers only got to teach to videocameras, endlessly rehearsing for some far off future. Book writers like me never saw our work put out to the public — our novels sat in drawers. Scientists never got to do original experiments; they only got to recreate scientific experiments of yesteryear. And so on. Rather quickly, all meaning would vanish from our work. Even if we enjoyed the activity of our job, intrinsically, it would rapidly lose depth and relevance. It’d lose purpose. We’d become bored, lethargic, and disengaged. In other words, we’d turn into teenagers.”
— NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children – See more at: http://project-based-homeschooling.com/camp-creek-blog#sthash.ptYWEwqb.dpuf
“Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
— C.S. Lewis
Dave asks a great (rhetorical?) question here that begins with << Here’s a question: At what point in your life did what you think become important? >>
Hi Dave, great question. What got you thinking about this?
For me, I don’t think it was until I could vote (18). Not good!
UPDATE 12/3: I was thinking about this today and I think I’m wrong… there are actually LOTS of times when I was a young kid that I felt important. My parents were very good at giving us responsibility and trusting us. Some examples: given freedom and responsibility very young to 1) cook and make food including lunch for school, 2) walk to and from school on my own when in 1st grade or so. 3) we kids have our own bank accounts. I remember saving up to buy “FOOTBALL II” — a hand-held video game.
Other memorable experiences of “important”:
- sports: the team is counting on you to play your part. i often pitched and played goalie, so those felt especially important
- boy scouts: I was a patrol leader for several years when I was still quite young
- baby-sitting and lawn-mowing and dog-watching jobs
- In school: I went to traditional public school, but the times of feeling important were anytime I worked on a presentation or report where I knew I knew more about the particular subject than anyone else in the class, including the teacher.
- I will add to this list as I think of more
This question was so important to my wife and I that we moved so our kids could go to Sudbury Valley School (sudval.org) where they can do what they want (all day long!) as long as they are not infringing on other people at school (other students or staff) or doing something dangerous, illegal, etc. The adult staff (no “teachers”) obviously have years of often valuable life experience and as paid employees they have have the added responsibility of taking care of the school. So no one is saying the kids are just little adults — but like you say, “what you think matters as much as what anyone else thinks.” So indeed, equal opportunity and one-person one-vote is embedded in the legal by-laws of the school. No puppet strings. 4 year-olds can vote if they want to. They know this, but are mostly happy to not vote until they are older.
UPDATE 12/4/13: Our 6-year old is serving his “every-other-year-or-so” duty as “juror” on the school’s Judicial Committee this month. He meets with the all-ages J.C. for an hour or so each day to hear the cases brought before them for that day. A powerful responsibility!
Daria: What types of things do the children learn at Sudbury School?
Mimsy: Well, I think they learn every type of thing but there are some things that I think every kid has to learn here because you can’t be here and not learn them. One of those things is to love the outdoors. Kids can spend as much time outside as they want here and that’s very healthy for their minds, their hearts, their souls, their bodies. There’s not a kid who’s gone to school here who doesn’t afterwards talk about how important the outdoors was to them.
(from a radio interview transcript here)
Some typical examples of outdoor/nature play at Sudbury Valley School and other Sudbury Schools:
- I regularly catch glimpses of basketball, football, ultimate, wiffleball games with kids as young as 4 and as old as 17.
- … Kids still outside doing pretend play or nerf-gun pretend battles or home-brew tag games or playing in the stream, etc. etc. even though it is a late fall afternoon and starting to get dark and is less than 40F. It’s not uncommon to arrive at around 4pm to pick up my kids and there to be 20-30 kids outside. Or to arrive and have only a few kids outside — already eating lunch at the picnic table even though it is 10am and cold.
Just depends on the day.