Category Archives: praise

Presence instead of praise

We’ve all heard a million times that things like
– “good job!”
– awards for everything… just for showing up basically
– graduation ceremonies for graduating from pre-school and elementary school
– helicopter parenting generally
are not constructive and can actually lead to narcissism. Or at least looking for more external praise and direction.

I had not heard it framed this way, which I liked:

“So, this year, I am vowing that I won’t let praise replace presence. Whether we are talking about her soccer game or the homemade music box she hopes to create, I want to tune into her stories, engaging her in conversations about the things that are important to her. Instead of responding with “That’s great!” I can ask her how she decided to create a homemade music box, and the materials she thinks are needed. When I remember to ask these questions, she always leans towards me, hungry to open up and share what’s inside her mind.”

seems like this wording “presence vs praise” came from this book

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Filed under exceptionalism, praise, talent vs skill